Spotify, you're bang on!

Spotify couldn't have been more right. 

Arijit Singh is my go-to singer whenever I feel like immersing myself in music, be it any kind of mood I'm in, romance being the all encompassing emotional feeling for me.

By the way, ever since I've been hooked to Spotify, there's no looking up other apps for my music binges. 

Happy World Music Day!

Music is the most inexpensive time machine that can ever be. Merely listening to a song, sometimes rather accidentally, as a tune or a melody wafts in the air and reaches our ears, we can be instantly transported to a time that exists in our memories, deeply embedded in a corner somewhere within. Sometimes we can exactly land at the place or the situation that has an intimate and personal memory association with the song, sometimes our brain fills in the missing spaces in the continuum and colors them having almost no regard for the origin of association. 

Like most Indians, my associations have been with the songs, not just music, and that too with songs from films. Interestingly, the songs that we have an instant connect with are always pure, simple and magical. Songs and nostalgia are natural partners. Some songs are too sublime, we don't want them spoilt through cover versions (remakes being the commercial and widely acceptable term in Bollywood), nor do the triggering of responses change for the same (we don't want to). Such songs are our ticket, our passport to a lost time, as if all was well back then, even the tears we may have shed were pure and, hence, cleansed our soul, our very being was made pure - the actual scars left behind can't hurt us now. 

Postscript: The song I'm listening to right now, that opened the floodgates of memories for me, is the song "Jeene de yeh duniya...." from the soundtrack of the 1985 film called 'Lava'. The song (it has multiple versions, as was common in those days) was sung by Asha Bhosle and Manmohan Singh, penned by Anand Bakshi, and set to tune by Rahul Dev Burman. The film (which I must have watched on television some years after the release) starred Dimple Kapadia and Rajeev Kapoor, along with Raj Babbar, Asha Parekh and Madan Puri. 

(film stills below: courtesy old magazines) 

Favorite Pisces celebs

Just for fun: a names-dropping post, for a change. Here's naming some of the famous celeb personalities - alive - who happen to be my favorites. I may or may not follow them on social media, but I do follow their work and achievements, for which I admire them (not necessarily worship them as a fanboi.... hahaha). 

Aamir Khan 

Rihanna 

Daniel Craig 

Glenn Close 

Javier Bardem 

Drew Barrymore 

Bruce Willis 

Shreya Ghoshal 

Sharon Stone 

Queen Latifah 

Rob Lowe 

Ansel Elgort 

Jensen Ackles 

Adam Levine 

Miles Teller 

David Thewlis 

Oscar Isaac 

William H. Macy 

Josh Gad 

Kesha 

Jon Bon Jovi 

Lily Collins 

Lupita Nyong'o 

Dakota Fanning 

Alia Bhatt 

Eva Mendes 

Elliot Page 

Kumail Nanjiani 

Shahid Kapoor 

Tiger Shroff

Justin Bieber 

Laura Prepon 

Emily Blunt 

Alexander Koch 

David Mazouz 

Why write? Why not?

Why write?

Well, I had stopped writing for a while. For a long while. Here. I had been going through a lot of conflicts. Internally. Not that I've stopped having them. But I thought it might not be wise to let them be known. To the world. After all, who cares? To whom would it matter? Whether I write or don't. Facebook and Twitter had become close substitutes to Blogs. Microblogging seemed to be the need of the hour. Maybe I had been flogging a dead horse for quite sometime. Vlogs had replaced Blogs. The surviving and thriving Blogs were a different ballgame altogether. From what I had grown used to, since I had become a blogger. 

Well, changes are natural. Evolution is necessary. Whether it suits me or not. Then why stay in the game? Why not quit?

Why; why not?

Here lies the answer. Maybe I can carry on. Doing what I did. Because I'm still alive and kicking. More importantly, because my quest for ego-boost is minimal. After all, isn't self-expression rewarding in itself? Why think about competition? Why look at it as a race? I've never really bothered about validation or adulation or acceptance. Call me 'too old-fashioned' if you want. I cannot afford to be driven by appreciation or understanding, and that too here (of all places). So there. I'm hanging on to my solitary beat. 

Battling the deadly surge

When did grief become a luxury? 

When did sorrow become an awkward inconvenience? 

When did rage become an interruption? 

When did lament become a dismissible indulgence? 

When we decided that we cannot afford to pause and emote. 

The world is trying to grapple with a pandemic of mammoth proportions. Coronavirus - Covid-19 - reared its ugly head in the latter half of 2019..... almost all through 2020 it wreaked havoc; but, as the world had been hoping for a respite, finally, in 2021, our country is witnessing the worst ramifications of recklessness combined with ill-planned attempts to tackle the crisis. As the every-day situation becomes more and more horrifying, the projections for the near future aren't any less alarming. It's the worst kind of cautionary tale for the world that can ever be, say the experts. Prayers and real-time support are sought for my country, for my fellow citizens. We await a miracle maybe, to bend the curve of India's catastrophic second wave of the disease.

The Lonely Wife

'Charulata' (1964), the film by Satyajit Ray, based on a short story by Rabindranath Tagore, was called in 'The Lonely Wife' in English. I noted this when I was too young to understand the complex and mature facets of the tale, the ten year old boy that I was, and possibly the loneliness of Charu, the 19th Century Bengali middle-class housewife in the film (played by Madhabi Mukherjee) was something I could understand. I even told an adult family member, sometime after watching the film on television, that it was my favorite film and got rebuked, maybe the person dismissed it as something entirely precocious. How could a young boy understand a woman's experiencing of an emotional and psychological void? And what about the simmering sexual tension? I didn't, of course. But I did find the projection of my own loneliness, my longing, that I could not put a finger upon, that I could never articulate. I even tried reading the original short story by Tagore, stealthily, soon after, and this time it seemed hard to fathom, the literary expressions. Now, after so many years, looking back, it's crystal clear why. Ray's sublime visual storytelling had worked its magic upon the impressionable kid. 'Charulata' is thus hailed by many as Ray's best film, as the moving images - along with the brilliant musical score composed by Ray - conveys the entire gamut of emotions. Cinema is, after all, the art of visual storytelling, and it reaches even the most innocent and immature viewer in ways that are not much explored. It resonates deep, and makes strange inroads to our psyche. Today marks the 100th anniversary of the maestro; the cinema of Satyajit Ray shall be celebrated for as long as cinema survives.

We Can Be Heroes

Films are usually supposed to tell stories. But, then, there are films where the narrative isn't just a narrative, the intricacies of plotting take a backseat and the characters and the setting assume a life of their own. 'Futuro Bay' (2014) is one such film. In it, the visuals are too powerful, they - along with the minimal dialogues and the music - convey a lot. The song, with the powerful vocal of David Bowie, 'We Can Be Heroes', itself packs a solid punch. 

'Futuro Beach' (Praia do Futuro) is a Brazilian film, essentially in Portuguese (with a bit of German dialogues too), directed by Karim Aïnouz, who seems to be one of the most powerful filmmakers right now. It stars Wagner Moura, Clemens Schick, and Jesuíta Barbosa. It's not an easy film, no matter how easy on the eyes its gorgeous visuals are, it's an elliptical gay romance. The metaphors, the nuances, the references are profound. It's a triptych of a film, neatly divided into three chapters. Being a bold film, it's not meant for all. However, for the empathetic viewer, it can be really rewarding, since it's a film about displacement and identity, love and its costs. Needless to emphasize, I loved the film. 

then AND now

Me, then: I know, everything happens for a reason.... but, sometimes, I wish I knew what the reason was. I'm too desperate to know why it happened - the way it did.

However, now: I no longer want to find out what the reasons are/were/have been. Not anymore. It's too taxing, too exhausting to keep digging. No matter what's found, there can be no closure that would bring peace and calm. Rather, it's best for me to come to terms with the happenings; what has to happen - happens; I surrender to the grand design. I have also come to terms with the consequences, the reactions, even the spiralling effect and the recurrences; the rage and the agony, or the helplessness at the betrayals - they all are part of the bigger picture. So, I simply let them be. 

Merchant-Ivory Cine Retro

Been lucky to catch a bunch of films from the Merchant-Ivory collection, it brought back the horde of memories associated with many of them which were viewed for the first time on television (be it on Doordarshan or on Star Movies), some of them when I was just a school-going kid.

The Householder (1963)

Shakespeare Wallah (1965)

Bombay Talkie (1970)

The Wild Party (1975)

Roseland (1977)

Hullabaloo Over Georgie and Bonnie's Pictures (1978)

The Europeans (1979)

Jane Austen in Manhattan (1980)

Heat and Dust (1983)

The Bostonians (1984)

A Room with a View (1985)

Maurice (1987)

The Deceivers (1988)

The Perfect Murder (1988)

Mr and Mrs Bridge (1990)

The Ballad of Sad Café (1991)

Howards End (1992)

In Custody (1993)

The Remains of the Day (1993)

Feast of July (1995)

Cotton Mary (1999)

The Golden Bowl (2000)

The Mystic Masseur (2001)

Before the Rains (2007)

'P' for.....

'P' for..... 

prescription pills

passion overkill

procrastinator's slumber 

psycho-babble numbers 

post-void jottings down 

pseudo-somatic frowned upons 

S.P. Balasubrahmanyam r.i.p.

Here's sharing my list of 20 favorite songs sung by the legendary singer who has passed away but shall remain immortal because of his innumerable songs. Best of SPB compilations that I came actually last night mostly included his Tamil/Telugu hits as they far outnumber those sung in Hindi. But this is exclusively for the listeners who do not follow the regional languages, a limited number of songs in Hindi (from Bollywood film soundtracks, some being dubbed versions of his Tamil/Telugu hits) that showcase the late singer's versatility and range.

My favorite 20 

1) Maut se kya darna; 'Patthar Ke Phool'; 

2) Tere liye jaanam; with K.S. Chitra; 'Suhaag'; 

3) Aake teri baahon mein; with Lata Mangeshkar; 'Vansh'; 

4) Sunn beliya shukhriya meherbani; with Lata Mangeshkar; '100 Days'; 

5) Teri baahon mein; 'Teri Baahon Mein'; 

6) O sajan; with Asha Bhosle; 'Mardon Wali Baat'; 

7) Hawa mein kya hai; with K.S. Chitra; 'Jaagruti'; 

8) Tota tota; with Lata Mangeshkar; 'First Love Letter'; 

9) Bahut pyaar karte hain; 'Saajan'; 

10) Saathiya tune kya kiya; with K.S. Chitra; 'Love'; 

11) Mere rang mein rangne wali; 'Maine Pyar Kiya'; 

12) Jeeye toh jeeye kaise; with Kumar Sanu and Anuradha Paudwal; 'Saajan'; 

13) Sach mere yaar hai; 'Saagar'; 

14) O Maria o maria; with Asha Bhosle; 'Saagar'; 

15) Roop suhana lagta hai; with K.S. Chitra; 'The Gentleman'; 

16) Gopala Gopala; with S. Janaki; 'Humse Hai Muqabala'; 

17) Pehla pehla pyaar hai; 'Hum Aapke Hain Koun..!'; 

18) Hum tum dono jab mil jayenge; with Lata Mangeshkar; 'Ek Duuje Ke Liye'; 

19) Yeh haseen vaadiyaan; with K.S. Chitra; 'Roja'; 

20) Thoda thoda pyaar ho gaya; with K.S. Chitra; 'Priyanka'. 

Top Ten Viewings in 2018

Here's my selection (on the basis of personal preferences) the top ten films watched in 2018: 

1) 'Call Me by Your Name' (2017) 

2) 'Phantom Thread' (2017) 

3) 'Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse' (2018) 

4) 'Asphalte' (aka Macadam Stories) (2015) 

5) 'Isle of Dogs' (2018) 

6) 'Ralph Breaks the Internet' (2018) 

7) 'Jours de France' (4 Days in France) (2016) 

8) 'The Shape of Water' (2017) 

9) 'Village Rockstars' (2017) 

10) 'The Killing of a Sacred Deer' (2017) 

Life explained, sipping tea

Life explained, sipping tea at a roadside chai (tea) stall. 

Piping hot tea... served in glasses, and in different stages of consumption.... 

illustrative of life at various stages.

It's that time of the year.....!

It's that time of the year..... better known as the time of Oscar Fever, which needs no explanation for the film-buffs and fil-junkies of the world.
Am lucky to have watched 22 films from 2017 (some of them I watched last year, and some just this year) which have been graced with the Oscar nod in and/or for one or more categories: 

'The Post' 

'Dunkirk' 

'Darkest Hour' 

'Blade Runner 2049' 

'Phantom Thread' 

'The Shape of Water'

'Baby Driver'

'Logan' 

'Star Wars: The Last Jedi' 

'Beauty and the Beast' 

'Coco' 

'Ferdinand' 

'The Boss Baby' 

'War for the Planet of the Apes' 

'Kong: Skull Island' 

'Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2' 

'The Greatest Showman' 

'The Big Sick' 

'Victoria and Abdul' 

'Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri'
'Lady Bird' 

'Call Me by Your Name' 

Top 10 films seen in 2017

Here's the list of my top 10 films watched this year:
1. Blade Runner 2049
2. A Death in the Gunj
3. Newton
4. Trapped
5. Gauru: Journey of Courage
6. Ventilator
7. Mukti Bhawan
8. Haraamkhor
9. mother!
10. Lipstick Under My Burkha

Scripts... screenplays

One of the major highlights of the day has been devouring the script of 'Kill Your Darlings'
(story by Austin Bunn; screenplay by John Krokidas and Austin Bunn; based on a true story)
- it's fabulous!

I know, many of our actors don't like reading scripts, they prefer to have them narrated (by the directors or the screenplay writers). However, I love reading film-scripts. I find them so very exciting! Be they detailed or skeletal, rough drafts or the ones readied for the shoot, I love them all. Whether the scripts are of films I have watched or yet to watch, they always leave plenty to be crystallized in my mind's eye when I'm reading them. That's what fascinates me most.

Victoria and Abdul

There are some films which one is biased to.... to which one surrenders completely, to let oneself be charmed, in which one invests emotionally as the images unfurl on screen. Such a film may attract a lot of flak, a lot of genuine criticism, yet it works for one. 'Judwaa 2' might be such a film for most of you.... while, for me, it is 'Victoria and Abdul'.

Where Was I? Where Will I Be?

What had I been doing online when I had not been blogging? You ask.
The answer is.... most of the time I would be on Facebook. In fact, in the last couple of years or so I had become a lot more active on that platform. The three tabs that would mostly be open when I came online were Facebook, Twitter and Gmail. Chatting online never quite appealed to me, ever. I guess I have never quite tasted its potential, as well as that of social media in general, for networking. So there.
On Facebook, I have been posting quite regularly, instead of doing it here, on my blog. Just remember, some posts are for everyone and some are for no one in particular, but some posts are just for yourself. While a few rare ones might be for a special person. Facebook suited me fine. So did Twitter, even better so... retweeting others mean one gets to speak through others voices, who might be going through similar journeys, expressing what one might have chosen to express, only doing it better. And I had this link between Facebook and Twitter whereby the content on the latter automatically got posted on the former. It suited me just fine.
However, Facebook has become quite a downmarket platform lately. All my good contacts, my efriends, who I shared vibes with and who used to be prolific in terms of their output, have either quit Facebook or have become non-functional on that platform. I feel like an old haggard there... perpetually attracting the wrong sorts, the whole gamut of them who can hardly meet my parameters of 'a good efriend'. There remain just a handful of the good old companions. One of them echoes my thoughts when he says, hearing my woes, "I am not the abandoning sort. I cling to old things. In fact, I take time to adopt a new thing." I find it so reassuring. For me, it's as good as a virtual hug. Would have otherwise thought I am the only one of my kind.... hahaha.
I am still avoiding being on WhatsApp which has become immensely popular now, as have other new apps. Many have been vouching for WhatsApp as, there, one can create a group of like-minded people only. I tell myself that I'd grab new social media apps and get rocking on them once I grab a new phone. But, honestly, I'm even averse to giving up on my old phone.
All my life, my resistance to change has led to all kinds of serious conflicts as well. Yet, I am what I am.

Just napping

People have been asking me why I'm continuing my silence for so long here on the blog space. Well, the answer is a bit too complex to explain to all. Like most other things in my life, rather my life itself, choosing not to express out in the open stems from a complex situation, call it my complex if that simplifies things for your comprehension.
Lately, I have been napping a lot. No, I haven't been caught napping when I shouldn't have, but again I have been pretty much lucky in not getting caught for many of the awkward things I could've been held guilty of pursuing. Coming back to napping, it's nothing but a harmless respite. It helps transport me to rich domains of half-dream half-reverie within minutes. My anxiety fails to take a nap though, for all practical reasons, the naps do not last long after all, though they are intermittent. Being able to nap with ease ironically is something that supposedly happens to people like me who've been insomniacs almost all their lives, so it is said by experts.
So, I guess I'll return to blogging, seriously and actively, when my anxiety too takes a happy nap, all you people - my fellow bloggers - do enjoy having nice, productive blogging days.
See you soon, hopefully.

Them ego-trippers

Sorry to say, but these days, I find it utterly painful to look at creative individuals who can contribute so much by their art/craft are simply busy being too full of themselves, indulging in absolute nonsense on social media.
All they are busy doing is going yak-yak-yakking over trivial stuff, unloading on us their opinions and comments that they had rather put a lid on.
The results are preposterous as well. Their creations, which they could have excelled at, become nothing but boring exercises in self-indulgence.
These pompous folks are over-eager to beat their own drums, when they aren't busy running down someone else for the sake of drawing attention to themselves. And, yes, sometimes they form a mutual backslapping brigade as well, with others who are more than happy in returning the favors. It's their natural right to act holy and hoity toity at the same time - so they believe. It's time we tell them to excuse us... we aren't buying what you preach.